Insanity, Thy Name is Darkchilde
by Darkchilde
Summary: My response to Em's challenge---yes, I am insane, no I don't really care. :)


Disclaimer: Well, the only things that belong to me in this story are, well, me, and Midnight's Jewel and Windsong. Everybody else belongs to whomever owns them! :) Yes, this my throw in to Em's challenge :), so I hope you like it! I hope that nobody minds if I mentioned them in here! Anyway, this is a LITTLE different from the other's, but then again, *I'm* a little different, so without further ado, I present... 

Insanity, Thy Name is Darkchilde

"I. Hate. My. Sister." I groaned, punctuating each word by slamming her head onto the table with a loud thump each time. 

"Ummm..." A small, glittering brunette fairy type creature blinked, watching me carefully, before turning to her companion, another fairy--only this one was Oriental, and smoking a cigarette. 

"She's always saying that, Windsong. You just haven't been around long enough to figure that out." The green eyed, black haired, purple clad Oriental muse--because that was what she was--smirked, flicking her cigarette butt away and settling down on top of the computer, kicking her tiny bare feet at her author's head. "YO DARKCHILDE! Quite doin' that before you damage what very little you have left of your brain." 

"Shut up, Midnight's Jewel, or I'm going to turn you into chopped muse liver, and feed you to Mariah." I told the personification of my imagination (or at least part of it). 

"Ooh, I'm really scared, DC. You've only been threatening to do that for three years, and I'm still here." 

"Unfortunately." I snapped, glaring at the tunic clad fairy. 

"You know, I think all the people out there are confused." Windsong suddenly piped up, brushing a lock of her long brown hair behind one of her pointed ears, and I looked up at her and smirked. 

"You really think that their people out there reading this?" I wanted to know, rolling my eyes. 

"Well, they read 'Consequences of Misunderstandings', didn't they?" Midnight's Jewel asked, snapping her fingers, another cigarette appearing in her hand. 

"Good point." I agreed, looking around my cluttered computer table for the rest of my diet coke. "Crap, where did it go?" 

"You drank it, idiot. I swear, YOUR graduating with HONORS?" The loud mouthed muse on my computer asked, sniffing, and lighting her smoke with the tip of her finger. 

"That is so nasty, Midnight. And mom wonder's why I'm always coughing ." I snapped at my muse, crossing my arms over my chest. 

"DC--just explain to the nice readers what the heck your talking about." Midnight's Jewel demanded, taking a draw off her cigarette before sending it back to wherever it came from. 

"Oh, I guess I should do that. Umm...hi!" I began, and heard Midnight snort. 

"At least she didn't start this one with describing a rain storm." The little creature muttered under her breathe. 

"ANYWAY--" I spat out from between gritted teeth, "I thought I would explain to you what was going on."

"If she can figure it out for herself." Midnight's Jewel was on a roll tonight I must admit. 

"Shut up, you annoying little creature, before I throw you out that window. How YOU became my main muse, I'll never know!" I groused, crossing my arms over my chest. 

"Because--you can't NOT write SOME romance into a story, no matter how hard you try." Midnight's Jewel informed me, a smug expression on her face. "And *I*, toots, am your muse of romance." 

"Now, how that happened, I'll never know." I muttered, rolling my eyes. Then the rest of what she said sank in, and I looked up at her in annoyance. "That's not TRUE! I CAN write a story that doesn't involve romance!" 

__

"Oh Catie! I've loved you since we were children.." Jamie Waite whispered to the dark haired girl in his arms. Catie Roth looked back at him, her eyes glittering with unshed tears.

"Jamie..." The two met in a soft kiss, the last rays of the day spilling down all around them like watercolors. 

"Oops! How did that get in there?" I asked out loud. 

"I rest my case." Midnight's Jewel smirked, her eyes sparkling. I growled at the little pixie, and reached to hit the 'up' volume on my computer, filling the small room with the soothing sounds of ZZ Top. I boogied around in my seat for a few minutes, before settling down and opening up a word program.

"Are we going write Broken tonight or what?" I asked my muse, tapping my fingernails against the edge of the wood table, smirking at the creature. 

"Or what. There some people that want to talk to you." Midnight told me, pushing a strand of her black hair behind her ear. 

"OOh, now THERE'S something that never happens." I mutter, lifting an eyebrow. "Where are these people, anyway?" 

"There." She pointed over my shoulder, and I looked, blinked, adjusted my contacts, looked again, and repeated the process about ten times. 

"Umm...Midnight...." 

"Yes, that's who they are. And they want to talk to you." I looked at the creature for a minute, grimacing, but she just laughed, her eyes sparkling. "Bye!" 

"TRAITOR!" I hissed at the creature, before turning back to my...err...guests. "Umm...hi?" I held out my bag of pop corn and tried to smile at the two dark haired people standing behind me, one of that an EXTREMELY handsome guy in a white wife beater and tight jeans, the other a smaller girl with pale skin dressed in a short black dress and tall black boots. 'Want some popcorn? Ooh, I LOVE your dress!" 

I think my calmness at seeing them magically appear in my computer room unnerved them, but Catie Roth and Jamie Waite were not one to show emotion--unless of course, Em Walters or Sweet Little Goth Gurlie or JessB or dLQ77 or Mei or...well, all the authors on the IaHB actually. Hmmm...I think I just contracted myself. 

"Oh...um...thanks." Catie said, shooting a confused look at Jamie before looking back at me. "We here..."

"To complain about my stories, I know." I said cheerfully, grabbing handful of popcorn out of the bag and shoving it in my mouth. "Go ahead!" 

"Umm...well...first..." Jamie stared, chewing on his bottom lip. Then he stopped, and tilted his head to the left. "You know, you haven't REALLY done much to me. I mean, besides kill my father, and have me CRY in Catie's arms (something I would NEVER do, I'm telling you!), and wreck my bike..." 

"Didn't you complain about that to Em to?" I asked, beaming at him cheerfully. "Plus, I gave you a cool family. Not many people do that---most like to think you're abused." 

"Yeah--*I* get to be the abused one, according to you!" Catie complained, putting her hands on her hips. "AND you killed me! Nobody else but you has killed me!" 

"Well, if it's the being dead thing that's bothering you, don't worry. I'll eventually get around to killing him to." I waved my hand at Jamie, and he 'eeped'. 

"That's a comforting thought." 

"It was meant to be." I assured him. "Oh, and if you two are going to complain about the lack of a sequel to 'Matchmaking 101'--just give me TIME okay? I'm currently on a roll with my 'Catie's Home Life SUCKS' series--which I need to give a better name, I know." 

Jamie stared at me, and I stared back, before slowing crossing my eyes at him. "What?"

"How do you do that?" He asked.

"Big mouth. I can fit a the bottom of a pop can in mouth. Long story, don't ask." I said calmly, waving it away. 

"No, I meant the OTHER thing. How did you know what we were here for?" He asked, seemingly amazed. I smiled and held up two fingers. 

"Two reasons--1) my natural woman's intuition and 2) my obsessive checking and reading of all post of Fanfiction.Net. Sweet Little Goth Gurlie mentioned you were coming over here. Your easily amazed aren't you? You really DO remind me of my best friend--though I really wished he looked like you." 

"Uh...thanks?" Jamie was flabbergasted, I could tell. 

"Okay, I have a question." Catie spoke up at that point, and took a sip of my Diet Coke before waving my hand at her to continue. "Why are you so calm about us being here?" 

I smirked then, rolling my eyes. "Well no DUH--I've been writing fan fiction for like, FOUR YEARS now. You think your the first fictives to show up and complain? I don't THINK so!"

"Thankfully, you guys can't blow stuff up like Tabitha can." Midnight's Jewel materialized on my shoulder then, blowing a kiss at Jamie as she did so. 

"Yeah, it was kinda hard explaining to mom were the singe marks came from." I reminisced, wincing. 

Jamie and Catie gaped at the little fairy who, by now, had pulled out another cigarette and was smoking it cheerfully. 

"What...is...THAT?!" Catie sputtered and Midnight stuck her tongue out at her. 

"THAT is Midnight's Amherst Jewel of the Deep Sapphire Gem, Protector of Love and Peace--though she never gives me any--and Daughter of the Nyghtmares of Obsidian and Lover of RoveR. But I just call her Midnight's Jewel. She's my muse." I explained. 

"Muse?" Jamie and Catie asked in unison and I clapped my hands under my chin and sighed. 

"SEE! You two were SO made for each other!" 

"Yes, she is clinically insane." Midnight's Jewel answered, before she caught my last comment on her name. "EXCUSE ME!?! I AM NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND'S MUSE'S LOVER! I DON'T EVEN *LIKE* RoveR!!" 

"Yeah yeah..." I waved my hand, before turning back to Catie and Jamie. "She's the one you wanna talk to if you don't like my stories. They're actually HER ideas, I'm just the vessel to get them down on paper." 

But Catie and Jamie weren't really listening to me at that point. "Suddenly, it all makes sense now." The girl muttered to her friend, her eyes wide and afraid. 

"You have NO IDEA." A new voice spoke up, and me, Catie, Jamie and Midnight all turned are heads to see who was. Sitting calmly on the couch were a collection of people--Sam Guthrie and Tabitha Smith of X-Force fame, along with Daisy Lipenowski and Ezra Friedkin of my beloved 'Higher Ground' and Michael Gurien and Maria DeLuca with Alex Whitman and Isabel Evans from Roswell. It was Tabitha who had spoke, twirling a lock of her longish blonde hair around her little finger.

"Who are THEY?!" Jamie asked in astonishment. 

"WE are DFA. We here to welcome you to the group." Isabel told the confused teenagers. She smiled sadly, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "Don't worry--we were all in your shoes once. We know how it goes."

"What is DFA?" Catie asked, reaching for Jamie's hand nervously. 

"Darkchilde's Fictives Anonymous." Ezra supplied helpfully, his arm around Daisy's shoulders. 

The In A Heartbeat duo turned to me, horrified. "The characters you write about have their own SUPPORT GROUP?!" 

"Ummm...." I murmured, putting a finger to my chin and grinning slightly ruefully. 

"We HAVE to have one!" Sam groaned, his southern accent heavy. "Not only is she NUTS, she's also PROLIFIC." 

"How....umm...prolific?" Catie asked nervously, chewing on her bottom lip. 

"Well over two hundred stories." Michael piped up nodding at Jamie. "Nice hair man." 

"Thanks." Jamie nodded back, taking in Michael's spikes (he's FIRST season Michael, of course--I like my men hot, Canadian, and SPIKY HAIRED!) as well. "Like yours to." 

"Isn't that cute?" Daisy rolled her eyes, nestling her head in Ezra's shoulder and directing her comments toward the peroxide blonde Tabitha, sitting in Sam's lap with her arms around his neck. 

"Men are so cute when they bond." Tabitha laughed, and the other three girls (Maria, Isabel and Catie) joined in. 

"Why do I get the feeling were being dissed?" Alex asked the guys, grimacing. 

"Probably because we are." Ezra made a face at the dark haired girl sitting next to him, but Daisy just smiled back, leaning forward to kiss him lightly. 

"Poor baby." 

Suddenly, my Napster kicked on, and "Here With Me" by Dido began to play. I turned from the DFA meeting and growled at the little pixie hovering innocently by my shoulder. 

"Is that your way of telling me to get to work?" I asked her, annoyed. 

"Oh Lord, not THAT song again!" Jamie moaned, and Catie winced. Sam looked interested and slightly confused. 

"How come y'all don't like that song?" He asked, his baby blue eyes slightly confused. 

"I wrecked my bike the last time she listened to that song!" Jamie groaned. 

"Really? We got to make out of the kitchen table." Tabitha remembered, tapping her chin. Jamie looked over at Catie, then turned around, and looked at me, suddenly hopefully. 

"Hey..." 

"I wouldn't!" Tabitha warned, wiggling her fingers at Catie. "C'mere Cait, and I'll tell you ALL ABOUT the demented one's FAVORITE method of torture..." 

"And LORD, does she know." Sam whined, glaring at me for a second. Tabitha dragged Catie out of the room, and the other girls followed. The guys, left without anything to do, got up and followed them. I turned back to my computer, intent on getting at LEAST a couple of pages of 'Broken' written, before I went to bed. 

A throat clearing made me look up from my computer and I found Jamie standing there, his hands in his pocket. 

"Can I help you?" I asked him, grinning. 

"Will you write a story for me and Catie like you did with Sam and Tabitha? You know, about the table?" He asked hopefully, and I grinned at him. 

"Give me time, cutie pie. Oh and Jamie?" I asked, as he turned to go. He turned back, and I reached out, and grabbed him by the collar of his wife beater, dragging him down to my level. I smiled sweetly at him, before crushing my lips to his, holding for a good minute before letting him go. He stepped back gasping, and I beamed at him. "See ya later, babydoll." I purred, turning back to 'Broken'. 

When I was sure he was gone, I beamed at the computer. "And THAT, ladies, is how you kiss Mr. Jamie Waite." 

Suddenly, Catie's shriek filled the air. "NO WAY IN HELL AM I HAVING JAMIE'S BABY!"


End file.
